I’ve written before about why it’s important to sit with your baby during weaning and beyond as well as my top 10 tips for including your baby in family meals. Today I wanted to explore in more detail WHY it’s a good idea to share family meals whenever you can.
I want to caveat this blog post by saying that I know how hectic life can be for busy parents and that eating together just isn’t always practical or possible and sometimes it’s complete chaos too! Please do NOT feel guilty when you are not able to eat together as a family or if meals don’t go to plan. It’s also perfectly valid to want to enjoy meals in peace, by yourself or with your partner at times! Just know that if, and when, you do have the opportunity to eat as a family, there are so many reasons why it’s a good idea.
Top 10 reasons to eat together as a family
It saves you time and money
Let’s be honest, preparing separate meals for your little one three times a day (plus snacks!) is a huge burden. But when you switch to feeding your baby or toddler the same meals as you are eating, you automatically half the task.
I always like to remind parents that YOU need to eat, too. It’s easy to get caught up in focusing on what to feed the kids and worrying about what they will and won’t eat, that our needs are often forgotten. In focusing on family meals and finding ways to adapt meals to include something for everyone, it makes sure that you get to eat what you enjoy as well.
Family favourite meals like my easy cheesy potato pie or baby and toddler friendly pasta dishes can work really well. Your baby ideally shouldn’t eat salt but you can add flavour with fresh herbs and spices and my favourite – lemon! For easy ways to do this, read my 5 ways to flavour family meals without adding salt or sugar.
Sometimes, simply adding a few easy sides, such as grated cheese, quick steamed frozen veggies, or any additional leftovers that need using up can mean there’s a little more option for everyone to choose what they want. Family meals don’t have to be complicated, and it’s important to cook or serve foods that YOU enjoy as well. If we want children to enjoy the foods that you have as a family, then it’s important to get them involved and enjoy them with you as well.
It builds routine and structure
Little ones often respond well to routines so that they know what to expect when – and mealtimes are as important a part of this as, say, sleep, bathtime or play. Just as babies quickly learn that food is on the way when you place them in their highchair, young children prefer the repetition of sitting down together to eat at a similar time each day. If this can be with all the family then so much the better.
Don’t underestimate how the simple act of routinely sitting down to dinner together can encourage positive behaviour at the table and help foster a love of food. Plus, establishing a pattern of family meals can stimulate your child’s appetite and help them understand how food fits into their day.
It creates a positive mealtime environment
I always encourage parents to describe their favourite restaurant when I talk to them about mealtime environments. Aside from the food itself, they will often reference the atmosphere, perhaps the music or the way the food looks, or the way that food is shared. Then I ask parents to consider if they can apply any of this to mealtimes at home.
Now I’m not suggesting every meal has to involve special, colourful presentation or extra consideration – I know we’re all too busy for that and getting food on the table is a task enough in itself, let alone turning it into a ‘restaurant-style experience’. BUT if mealtimes have become particularly rushed – or particularly stressed – try to consider ways to make them more relaxed and enjoyable – and what this looks like will probably be different for every family.
I know this can be particularly challenging if your child is going through a period of fussy eating: if you need support with this, please read my blog on mealtime language tips to help fussy eaters. I also have a free download on how to cope with fussy eating in young children. When it gets hard, remind yourself that if you are visibly stressed by your child’s fussy eating, they will pick up on this and their stress will likely increase in turn. Whereas if you can manage to stay relaxed, their fussy eating may be less compounded by your own frustrations. Instead, a more relaxed mealtime should help them learn to relax themselves.
It makes meals more sociable
When talking about family mealtimes, I often discuss two key components that are commonly referenced as integral to the Mediterranean Diet – commensality and conviviality. These terms really just mean ‘coming together to enjoy the act of sharing a meal in a sociable environment’. Socialising over food is one of the things that we all enjoy most about it and keeping meals fun and light can make a huge difference to how children view food overall.
Children are often more open to exploring new flavours and foods if they’re consistently offered them in an unpressured, positive and fun environment. Family meals are such a perfect way to come together and chat about each others’ days – whilst simultaneously exploring a variety of colours, tastes and textures on your plate.
It teaches important life skills
Asking your children to help with tasks as part of family mealtimes can help to teach them table manners as well as giving them a sense of independence. They can help set the table, share out the cutlery and clear away and/or wash-up afterwards. You can also give them autonomy by asking them to help plan meals for the week. By giving children a choice, you encourage them to invest more in family mealtimes and feel like they have a say in what’s put in front of them.
It role models healthy eating
I cannot overemphasise how valuable it can be for your children to see you eating a balanced diet and modelling healthy eating behaviours, day in, day out. Mealtimes can be a great opportunity to lay foundations around healthy eating that will hopefully last a lifetime – so embrace the chance to do so as often as you can by letting them see you enjoy varied and balanced. Begin role-modelling healthy eating once you start weaning your baby. In doing so, you of course also enrich your own diet by eating as much variety as possible!
We know that familiarity and exposure to foods is a key predictor in how likely children are to accept foods in the long run. So even when children aren’t trying new foods when you’re serving them, they’re seeing YOU try and enjoy them and they’re becoming more familiar with them every time.
It can help to improve fussy eating
Does your child seem to eat much better at nursery or school than they do for you at home? This may be because mealtimes are a positive environment at nursery involving plenty of role models, and a more sociable experience, super routine and often with less distractions. If you can find ways to replicate a structured, positive environment at home, you may help combat fussy eating in your little one. It can take time and patience – like many aspects of parenting – but if you can stick to making the mealtime environment a place they WANT to come to, it can really help.
Family style eating also helps to increase exposure to a variety of foods, without the pressure for them to eat it. Serving food in the middle and allowing children to serve themselves, or point to what they want for younger children, is a great way to give them some control in the mealtime, which many little ones strive for.
It can help you all eat more mindfully
Limiting distractions, such as screens, can be a good idea during mealtimes: I know a screen may seem a good mechanism for encouraging your child to sit still whilst they eat their meal but it often doesn’t help in the long-term. Mindful (or distraction-free) eating instead helps us to focus on enjoying the food in front of us – as well as the company of the rest of the family!
It teaches eating to appetite
A key reason why limiting mealtime distractions is good idea – for both adults and children! – is that we tend not to pay attention to signs of appetite or fullness when we eat ‘mindlessly’ (without paying due attention). If you picture yourself at the cinema eating a tub of popcorn whilst watching a movie, you will likely be able to visualise this – the popcorn can go without us really tasting it because our attention is elsewhere.
When we eat whilst distracted, we don’t consider whether or not we are full and so tend to sometimes overeat. Babies and young children learn responsive eating – or eating to appetite – from watching you at the table, as well as paying attention to their own internal feelings. They’ll observe how you stop eating when you’ve had enough, for example. You can reinforce messaging around appetite through the language you use, too. For example, ‘I’ve had a nice serving of stew now and I’m full so I’ll stop’ or ‘I’m still feeling a little hungry, I think I’ll have a little more potato and peas’.
Most importantly it builds a love of good food
Cooking and enjoying a plate of nourishing food together is an important skill for life. There are so many benefits to cooking with your kids, from developing motor skills to fostering a love of what they eat. Family mealtimes are nurturing and boost children’s confidence. As they grow, they will hopefully learn to love sharing mealtimes with others and continue to develop good knowledge around healthy eating and the wonderful world of good food!
If you’d like to try cooking together, visit my recipe blog for all my favourite baby, toddler and family-friendly recipes. And if you’d like more advice on feeding a family, my book How To Feed Your Family is out now.
How To Feed Your Family
Following on from her bestselling books How to Wean Your Baby and How to Feed Your Toddler, this book brings Charlotte’s trademark approach of practical support and nurturing step-by-step guidance to help you manage the juggle of family life.