This blog is a bit of a different take to my usual posts. It’s much more of a personal journey, but I thought I would share it anyway. In case it resonates with anyone going through something similar for their second pregnancy. Please know that this isn’t meant to offend or upset anyone, I’m just sharing my honest experience and appreciate that having babies is always a very sensitive subject.
My pregnancy with Raffy was pretty plain sailing. I often heard the worries and complaints of other pregnant women and thought how lucky I was to have been pretty much symptom free (apart from little low blood pressure initially and a bit of reflux later on.) I actually couldn’t wait to be pregnant again as I really enjoyed pregnancy the first time round. People were kind to me, they asked questions and smiled at me. I could sit wherever I wanted on the tube and use the bathroom in restaurants I wasn’t eating in, without feeling guilty! I also really liked watching my body change and grow and liked the feeling of the bump.
Pregnancy number two…
My second pregnancy could not have been more different – from beginning to, well, middle (where I am as I write this).
Although my second pregnancy was planned, I hadn’t expected to conceive so soon. It had taken a fair bit of time with Raffy and I think I just assumed it would be the same this time round. When it happened super quick, I think I actually went into a bit of a shock about the whole thing.
I found out after I was around 5 days pregnant, which is very odd in itself. Even before I missed my period and at that time I also went away for a weekend. So I didn’t get to see or talk to my husband about it properly for another 4 days!
I think for the first weeks I was in a bit of a denial about it. It’s so hard to think about a little life growing inside you when you have a whirlwind toddler running rings around you on the outside. Then the guilt kicked in. I found myself incredibly emotional at the thought of how this would impact Raffy. He wouldn’t be the single centre of our world anymore, I’d have to split my love for him with another. My parents would have to share the attention they give him etc etc. And I worried a lot about whether this would affect him and the happy little boy he is? This was my choice, not his.
I can’t really explain the weird emotions I felt at this time. Part pleased, part really, really anxious, part grieving…almost It was so odd and I couldn’t put my finger on what I felt day to day, which only added to the feelings of confusion.
As soon as I managed to open up to my husband and some of my friends about it, I started to feel much better. I realised that what I was feeling was totally normal – just uncertain. That’s really what helped me get over some of these feelings and start to actually celebrate and look at the situation realistically. Raffy will LOVE having a brother or sister, I know that.
Looking after myself
The other thing that was hard was taking care of myself. From day one of being pregnant with Raffy (even earlier actually as we were trying for a while) I had more or less eliminated alcohol, caffeine and my diet was at its absolute peak! I also had plenty of time to exercise. I worked from home 5 days a week. I had just myself and my husband to look after and feed and I got to have guaranteed sleep at night times…!
This time round I was working very hard on some big projects e.g. Wean in 15, The Baby Show, Babease, Stokke and my own business and brand building. With limited time between those and looking after Raffy. It was all a balancing act and my health was always fairly low on my agenda.
Add to that the fact that over Christmas I was hit with two stomach bugs and I found myself super receptive to all the bugs that Raffy picked up at nursery. I think I had back to back illnesses for about 3.5 months, including flu, sickness, stomach bugs – you name it…!
And that’s not even including the pregnancy symptoms I had this time round either.
Pregnancy Symptoms Trimester 1:
During pregnancy, typical symptoms generally associated with the first trimester include:
- sore breasts
- nausea (also known as morning sickness, although it can strike at any time)
- low mood
- low immune system
- food cravings & phobias
- a heightened sense of smell
- needing to wee more frequently
- cramping, a bit like period pains
- bad skin
- more bodily hair
- bloating and the feeling of being bloated
- GI symptoms such as diarrhoea & constipation
I had the lot. Seriously I really do think I had every symptom in the book. I also got a few that I didn’t really know existed; Carpel Tunnel Syndrome, sore teeth (bleeding gums), bleeding nose, itchy skin – especially hands and legs. And a lot of heat rashes! It wasn’t a very easy time. I shared on Instagram that I’d been feeling a little low and strange So many came back to say they were having/had had the same with their second pregnancy too!
I wasn’t alone!
Struggling During Pregnancy
The symptoms that REALLY affected me were fatigue . Working, having a toddler and being ready for bed by 4.30pm was really, really tough – and I also found the low mood hard to cope with. No motivation, feeling shattered and feeling very down meant it was hard to just function day to day.
I actually quite enjoyed my cravings though. I defo didn’t have the best diet initially. It was a far cry from what I ate with Raffy but I listened to my body and ate lots of Country Crisp, chilli sauce, cheese and pasta! I did (especially on days where I had energy) try and combine these with other nutrient-rich options – such as milled seeds and oats in my cereal, handfuls of spinach and other green veg with the chilli sauce, cheese veggies in a sandwich and pasta with lentils and veg!
I also took my pregnancy multi-vitamin and an algae omega-3 tablet too each day!
A light at the end of the first trimester!
Then around 17 weeks hit and all of a sudden the symptoms started to lessen, one by one. It was really refreshing to suddenly feel like me again. To have motivation, to be able to plan and get excited about what was about to change for the better.
Hopefully this is a post that people may resonate with and also it might help to give people some hope that it does all start to lessen and it is all worth it in the end!