How To Manage Sweets, Chocolates & Cakes for Young Children

I’m often asked about how I handle sweets and chocolates with my own children, especially around celebration occasions.

First of all, sugar is a CONFUSING topic. There is so much information out there that will lead you to believe that sugar is the cause of all evil and it just isn’t the case. I have a blog ALL about sugar for babies and toddlers, that will help you pick out the advice you really need to know. Nevertheless, navigating “sugar” for a parent can be super challenging.

How To Manage Sweets, Chocolates & Cakes for Young Children

When can children have added sugars?

Generally, advice is that young children shouldn’t have any “added” or “free” sugars in their diet (see my blog for more on these definitions as well as a blog on “are sugar alternatives healthier for kids”)

And the NHS actively say to avoid sugar and sugary foods in young children’s diets, saying: “there’s no guideline limit for children under the age of 4, but it’s recommended they avoid sugar-sweetened drinks and food with sugar added to it.” But, of course, the reality is a little different than that and most children (including mine) are likely to be exposed to some added sugars from a young age.

Can babies have sugars?

I tried with both of my children to limit their exposure of sugars pretty much entirely until around 2 years of age. The reason for this is that patterns of eating are being established in the early years and there is a lot of research on the first 1000 days of life and how critical that time is for development, but also for learning preferences for foods and patterns of eating.

Additionally, under 2 children are often less aware of what different foods are, are still exploring the newness of weaning food, and are often less bothered by what other children are eating. It’s only when they start to become more aware of sweets, chocolates and other sweeter foods that you need to think about how and when and if you offer them.

(N.B. Restricting intakes under two was easier with Raffy than it was with Ada as when she came along, she was exposed to these foods a little more regularly via ones that Raffy would bring home from nursery and then school.)

So, for these reasons I tried to completely minimise their intakes until at least 2 years of age.

What about sweets for toddlers?

It is still a really good idea to limit the amount of sugars your little ones are exposed to. The recommendations for 4-6 years, are to have no more than 19g/day (or 5 sugar cubes) and most children have far too much.

It’s also important to remember that there are sugars in other everyday foods too, such as sauces, breads, cereals and so the amount of sugar your baby or toddler has on a daily basis can really add up.

Sugar and Sweets at celebratory occasions

For many of us, our children will first experience sugars and sweets and cakes on celebratory events such as Christmas, birthdays, Easter and Halloween. It’s important that you remember YOU’RE in charge of what foods they are offered, not other family members and not your child (although they are in charge of how much and if they eat).

There are many ways to offer healthy alternatives, lower sugar options or sugar free cakes and bakes at parties and celebrations and I have a wealth of recipe ideas in each of my books and on my website too.

However, once children are more aware of foods, it’s not ideal to overtly restrict their intakes…

Overt Restriction is: restriction that is obvious and the child is aware of e.g. “you can only have one”.

Covert Restriction is: restriction that isn’t obvious and the child is unlikely to be aware of e.g. not having the foods around often or not offering them daily.

Pressure/restriction – what this really means is so variable from child to child, but ultimately anything that your little one interprets as being pressure or restrictive is as such. It’s not ideal for us to practise obvious pressure or restriction around foods. Research shows pressure or restriction often has the exact opposite effect to what we want, especially in the long run. E.g. if we want to restrict sweets so our kids don’t eat much, it’s likely to make them want them and enjoy them more.

This can be a tricky thing to navigate and every family’s approach to this is likely to be different. There is NO right or wrong and it’s important to remember that these celebratory occasions are generally just one offs and should be about fun and enjoyment, not restriction. So, if you want to offer standard (as opposed to lower sugar) cakes and sweets and biscuits – go ahead. It’s always your call as the parent.

Everyone will figure this out in their own way, depending on different family dynamics and personal feelings around foods and sugars, so there is no judgement here. However, I thought it would be helpful to share how I handle celebratory occasions when it comes to sugar and sugars foods, in case it helps you manage it too.

How I handle sugar, sweets and chocolates in my home:

We don’t have them in the house as day-to-day options

The reason for this is that they aren’t every day food items for us. Just like rice or avocado, or tofu aren’t always in the house every day or every week, neither are sweet foods.

We don’t offer “puddings” regularly in our house

We have them when we go out or to friends or to family house. But our routine generally doesn’t include sweet puddings each day, which helps us to keep a bit of limit on daily sugar intakes straight away (more on puddings coming soon. If you do offer them, please don’t worry!)

We have a LOT of variety in our foods and meals

I vary up breakfast, the types of breads we use, the snacks we have on offer, the sides we serve with dinners so that my two are exposed to a LOT of different foods week in week out. This helps them to be familiar with those foods and therefore generally (absolutely not always!!) accept them more. This means that they actually enjoy a variety of foods that aren’t just sweets and cakes and chocolates.

We talk about our enjoyment of ALL foods

Not just sweet foods or high fat and sugar foods like ice cream. We try to eat together, role model and also let the kids see us cooking, shopping for and enjoying eating lots of different foods. For example, my favourite meal is lasagne, I also love courgette and I’m also a fan of chips – so we talk about these and the enjoyment of LOTS of foods, including foods like chocolate and ice cream. This is to try and avoid encouraging a “food hierarchy”, where the sweet and sugary stuff is put on a pedestal.

We avoid offering sweets as a “reward” or restricting sweet foods or pudding if other meals aren’t eaten

Doing this can actually have the opposite effect to what we want to happen. It makes the savoury foods less desirable and the sweeter, reward or restricted foods much more desirable. This is how we can end up inadvertently creating a food hierarchy and having kids who are becoming more and more interested in sweet foods, especially if they associate it with a reward at the end.

Role model moderation and balance ourselves

We try to avoid binging on foods or overeating too much in the way of sugary foods in front of the kids and let them see our enjoyment of all foods and how ALL foods should be eaten in moderation. We also don’t talk to them about what a “balanced diet” is, necessarily, but we do show them by always balancing out meals and plates at most mealtimes. A lot of little one’s learning is via observation so we try to model ourselves how we would like them to eat.

We talk to them about how some foods might make them feel

For example, often Raffy has had a stomach-ache or a sore mouth from having excess of foods like sweets, or chocolate after a party. He also notices (whether accurate or not) that certain foods (he swears it’s Toblerone!!) cause him headaches. So, we do talk about how eating too much of something (composite meals and other non-sweet options, included) might make him feel after.

Offer sweeter foods alongside meals

This isn’t all the time, but if the kids come home with sweets or cakes from school, or if they have been at a party we try to encourage them to add everything they want to their plate and not worry about having to eat all the savoury first and then have the sweet last. We try to have sweet foods AT mealtimes and with other foods – again to reduce the “hierarchy”, but also to reduce the impact on their teeth. Check out my blog on offer fruit as part of a main meal to toddlers.

Avoid sweets and biscuits and cakes being constantly on display or in a very well known area where they can help themselves.

This is just going to encourage them to be thinking about these foods more often and may lead to them eating more than they need or, even, you having to overtly restrict how much they have. At our house if we do have these foods they aren’t stored in a specific “snack” or “treat” drawer, so the kids aren’t super focused on these areas of the kitchen, or always using “pester power” to ask for a snack from the treat cupboard…because they aren’t likely to have any idea where they would be if we did have them in.

I don’t get this right all the time.

These are my aims, but it doesn’t always go to plan and although Raffy is super intuitive about what he eats and how much his body wants and always knows when he’s had enough. Ada is a lot more tricky. She has a sweeter tooth and definitely a higher desire for these foods. She also doesn’t have as strong a “stop” button to know when she’s had enough and so often eats more than she needs or wants. This shows that personality will also play a role. I find this tough to navigate and I specialise in this field so for anyone else – cut yourself some slack…if you’re even thinking about it, you’re doing amazingly.

What about celebration occasions?

Remember that how you offer sweet treats is UP TO YOU – you’re the parent, so you decide what, when and how much, not your kids, nor anyone else for that matter!

Stick to a meal routine on days where you’re going to parties or where it’s Christmas or Easter so that your little ones get plenty of opportunity to also fill up on lots of filling, nutrient rich options too.

Offer plenty of variety of other foods throughout the day, so they are ending up with a good balance of food groups.

Look at intakes over WEEKS not days as there will always be some days where nutrient intakes aren’t as good and sugar intakes are higher than normal. Looking over a week is more helpful.

Add extras to meals either side of Christmas or easter or birthday party celebrations so you know you’re offering plenty of nutrients as well

Avoid restricting their intakes and let them have autonomy over how much they eat when sugary or sweet foods are available. This might sound counterintuitive, but restricting is likely to make the foods more desired.

Talk to your little ones about how they feel after eating too much, encourage them to listen to their bodies – this helps if they don’t feel the food is restricted and they’ll never get it again. Next time they might learn that it’s OK to eat less.

Act fairly nonchalant about these foods (almost impossible when they are put on a pedestal by society and celebration occasions), but try to let them see you NOT making a big deal of a packet of sweets over another snack or meal option.

Model loading plates with a VARIETY so they can see the familiar “balance” they are used to, even at a party. Avoid pressures for them to eat in a certain order or for them to eat some of the foods over others though (I know it all sounds a fine balance).

If you’re in control of it, have other easy foods available, like bowls of nuts and seeds, peeled tangerines, chopped fruits, bread sticks and hummus, cheese boards etc alongside the sweets and chocolates available.

Try some fun – non food related activities which can become traditions so that celebratory occasions aren’t ALL about sweet foods.

Get baking with the kids for parties and Christmas and try some of my lower sugar baking recipes, which are still super tasty and fun to make together. Don’t forget I have lots of celebratory foods ides in my books too. I love my beetroot brownies, fruit stack birthday cake and also my spinach and cheese muffins. You may also like to look at my healthy birthday cakes for babies.

I also talk more about this in my blog “How a Child Nutritionist Does Christmas”