Every day I’m asked for help with fussy eating and I know it’s something that almost ALL parents struggle with at some stage.
I know first hand, from professional and personal experience, just how much of an impact fussy eating can have on a family and how much stress, worry and frustration it can cause.
However, I’m often asked questions around where the line is when “Fussy Eating” becomes more serious, or of more concern, and when parents therefore might need more clinical or specialised support. Therefore I wanted to address in this blog what “typical” toddler eating behaviour is and offer some suggestions of when one might need to ask for more help.
Please note that the content of this blog should absolutely not be used to replace medical advice and if you have concerns about your child’s eating or their growth/general health, it’s really important to seek specialist support. At the end of this blog I’ve signposted some extra resources that you may find helpful if you are looking for additional support.
What is typical toddler eating behaviour?
I spend A LOT of my time talking to and reassuring parents about their child’s eating behaviours, and it’s clear that there ARE plenty of behaviours that are very typical for young children, especially those tricky eating toddlers. It’s quite literally why I wrote my book How to Feed Your Toddler and also why I created my Fussy Eating Crash Course to help parents who are struggling with feeding little ones.
Behaviours that can be common for babies and young children are*:
- Food refusal
- Inconsistent appetites – eating well at some meals and less at others
- Food throwing
- Refusing meals and requesting snacks
- Refusing to try certain foods on the plate
- Finding it difficult to stay in the highchair and wanting to get down frequently
- Becoming upset if they don’t like the food on offer or if it’s not a favourite food/meal
- Eating well in childcare settings but becoming more fussy at home
- Wanting to graze all day
- Preferences for “plain” or “beige” foods – (children like familiarity and these foods are consistent in look/flavour/texture, easy to eat and a quick source of energy for children)
- Preferring certain textures – this is really child-dependent as ALL children develop skills for eating at different paces
- Wanting help to eat, even if they have the skills – sometimes children are simply tired or something is affecting them that they just want that little bit of extra support and comfort
It’s really important to look at these factors in the context of your child’s OVERALL health and wellbeing. If some (or many) of these behaviours are occurring very regularly during mealtimes, causing significant disruption AND there are any additional concerns around your child’s growth or development, it may be that these aren’t simply “typical” toddler behaviours for them. Context always matters.
For more detail on why fussy eating happens, check my blog.
What support can I get for fussy eating?
Navigating phases or ongoing fussy eating can leave parents feeling worried, frustrated, stressed, isolated or like they’ve failed – all of which can impact mealtimes even more. It can also be really hard to know where to turn and who to talk to when you’re wanting support to improve mealtimes.
Here are some ways you can get support for your child’s typical fussy eating behaviours:
- Online – there is a lot of support online and on forums where parents share tips and hacks on how they have coped with fussy eating episodes. Remember that not all of these will work for you and also not all of these will be “evidence-based” practices, either.
- NHS – The NHS has advice on food refusal as well as more general pages on feeding a balance of foods to toddlers.
- Specialist blogs – I have LOTS of free resources on my website and blog that go into real detail about fussy eating, what to look out for, why it happens and what you can do to help reduce food refusal at home. These may be a good place to start if you’re struggling:
- FREE fussy eating factsheet
- Mealtime language to help with fussy eating – from a child psychologist
- How to manage behaviour to help your child enjoy mealtimes
- What to do about food throwing
- What should I do when my child refuses a meal?
- My Instagram page has plenty of posts covering general advice, support and reassurance for fussy eating and I do a regular Q&A on there every Monday where I answer lots of typical questions on fussy eating and food refusal.
- Webinars. My Fussy Eating Crash Course is an in-depth look at WHY fussy eating happens and WHAT you can do about it – it covers a lot more detail than what’s on my blog and can help if you’re looking for that extra bit of guidance and reassurance
- Peer support groups: I have a free Facebook group for Fussy Eating support – this can be a supportive space to reach out to other parents going through similar phases and get tips and tricks that have worked for others
- My book How To Feed Your Toddler has lots of support for the tricky toddler years – I spent a lot of time researching and learning whilst writing this book, and it’s really designed to help you know what to expect and how to help your child, and yourself throughout this period
- GP/Health Visitor – this is the best first port of call to go to if you’re looking for support that’s specific to your child. I know specialised support is often hard to come by, but it’s important to check first and ask your GP or Health Visitor whether there are facilities that are local to you and what resources are available in your area.
- One to one consultations: if you’re able to, private support can be really beneficial to get tailored, individualised support for YOUR child. You can email info@srnutrition.co.uk if you would like details of professionals who can support you and your family on a one to one basis.
When should I start to worry about my child’s fussy eating?
Something parents are naturally concerned about, is at what point they should start to worry that there may be more to their child’s eating behaviours than just being typically “fussy”:.
Some things to think about that may indicate you need further support are:
- Significant fussy eating behaviours persist with little to no improvement over a long period of time (several months)
- If your child eats a VERY limited number of foods (e.g. less than 15-20 different foods) and/or is brand-particular about the foods, they will eat – e.g. will only eat Heinz baked beans and will refuse other brands
- If you child refuses whole food or texture groups
- Your child will not eat anything if their accepted foods are not available at mealtimes
- Your child has significant aversions to foods mixing or touching
- If your child’s eating is significantly impacting your/your family’s day to day life and you frequently feel anxious about eating out in restaurants or at friend’s/family’s houses
- Your child appears to be in considerable distress/discomfort at most mealtimes – e.g. frequent gagging/inability to chew appropriately or manage a variety of textures
- Your child has any other medical and/or developmental conditions that may have an impact on their ability or willingness to eat – for example; food allergies, sensory processing disorder, gastrointestinal conditions (e.g. reflux), neurodivergence
- You have concerns about your child’s growth e.g. they are losing weight, not gaining height (note: your child can be a healthy weight and still have problem feeding that needs support)
- You child shows signs of sensory differences or sensitivities that significantly impact their eating and/or other activities of life e.g. washing, dressing. With food this may be demonstrated by acceptance or rejection of food based on specific sensory characteristics e.g. colour, shape, smell, sound (e.g. crunchy)
- Your child may be visibly anxious at mealtimes or experience challenges that result in frequent excuses to leave the table, becoming tearful, gagging at the sight of food, making themselves sick or verbalising feelings of anxiety
Please note that this isn’t an exhaustive list, and there may be other things that you have concerns about that you would like to speak to someone about. Please do seek further support if there is anything you feel that isn’t right.
What support is right for my child?
When thinking about what support might be relevant for your child, it’s useful to look at how many foods your child will usually eat, as well as other behaviours or symptoms that may be present.
The table below shows what symptoms to look out for and what appropriate support may be for your child. Note that this table should not be used as a diagnostic tool and should not replace specialist medical advice.
| Symptoms | What could it mean? | Where to Seek Support |
| Nutritional intake is generally appropriate to meet growth and developmental requirements Typically eats more than 30 foods | This is likely to be considered a typical eater | If you’re experiencing stressful mealtimes or would like support with general fussy eating advice, you may find my blog, book or crash course helpful. |
| Typically eats 20-30 foods* Nutritional intake generally appropriate to meet their growth requirements and developmental milestones May show behaviours such as avoidance of new foods, strong preferences around textures and preparation of foods These behaviours have been seen during a period of less than 2 years | This would likely be considered a ‘fussy’/’picky’ or ‘selective’ eater | My crash course may be helpful, or you may wish to seek 1:1 support. |
| Typically eats less than 20 foods* May experience feeding difficulties (e.g. problems with bottle feeding, significant discomfort during mealtimes) or one or more of the points listed above | Suggests feeding difficulties, may be considered to be a fussy/picky eater or may suggest “Paediatric Feeding Disorder” (PFD) | You are likely to require 1:1 support. You can refer to The Feeding Trust or discuss referral options with your GP |
| Typically eats less than 10 foods* May lack skills required for eating and/or one or more of the points above Feeding difficulties may have been ongoing for more than 2 years | Suggests severe feeding difficulties and may be considered to have “Paediatric Feeding Disorder” (PFD) or ARFID. Learn more about the difference signs and symptoms here. | You are likely to require 1:1 support and a multidisciplinary assessment. You can refer to The Feeding Trust or your GP |
| My child used to eat normally but has developed an extreme anxiety around germs, vomiting or choking or they may have recently experienced a physical trauma around the face or mouth Symptoms may have appeared suddenly in the absence of previous difficulties | Your child may have a diagnosis of ARFID | Seek medical support from your GP Your local CAMHS service may also be able to provide support |
References: SOS Approach to Feeding, Feeding Matters, ARFID: An Introduction to diagnosis and management online short course, The Feeding Trust,
*When thinking about the number of foods your child will eat, consider whether they will eat different forms of the food – e.g. if they eat chicken – will they eat grilled/roast/stir fried chicken or will they only eat chicken nuggets? Do they eat broccoli when it’s blended into a muffin/pancake but wouldn’t eat it whole? This doesn’t have to mean your child will eat these foods ALL the time, without fail, but will they generally accept those foods when offered.
What can I do if I’m worried about my child’s fussy eating?
One of the biggest questions parents have when they’re worried about their child’s eating is WHO can I speak to? I often hear that parents are told that they’re “just being toddlers” or it’s “just fussy eating” or there’s nothing to worry about because they’re meeting their milestones and they’re growing well.
Of course, all of these things ARE true – we know that children can become more selective around 18 months as they develop more autonomy and their growth slows down. And it IS reassuring and relevant that they are growing well and meeting developmental milestones. HOWEVER, it isn’t helpful if you are seeking further support and you feel that you aren’t being taken seriously. It is really important to seek support from someone who is specialised in paediatric feeding and can appropriately support you if you need more support.
The first step is to speak to your child’s GP or Health Visitor. They are most familiar with your child’s medical history and can give you information about appropriate services that are available within your area (Including local dietetic, psychology, SLT or Occupational Therapy services).
If you are struggling to get support, or feel that your concerns are not being taken seriously, you may wish to seek further support privately.
The Feeding Trust is a charity that provides specialist support to children with paediatric feeding disorders (PFD).
ARFID Awareness is a helpful resource if your child has had a diagnosis of ARFID.
BEAT is a charity that supports people and families living with eating disorders.
Your local CAMHS service may be able to offer further support if your child’s eating is related to any mental health concerns
Thank you to Lucy Upton, from the Feeding Trust for her support with this blog.
Fussy Eating Crash Course
Do you have a baby or child showing signs of picky eating? Or perhaps they’re frequently pushing their plates away no matter what you serve – and you’re going a bit mad! Then this Fussy Eating Crash Course is for you.