The question of whether or not to offer little ones a dessert after meals is one that families frequently ask me. Ultimately, the decision to provide a pudding is entirely up to you and can vary greatly from one family to another.
In this blog, I’m going to try to answer the question, “should I offer my baby/toddler a dessert?”
This is a really tricky question to answer and the main answer, as always in nutrition is going to be “it depends”.
Should young children have sweet foods?
Puddings, seconds, desserts or even “sweets” are often associated with sweeter tasting foods such as ice cream, cakes, biscuits.
I’ve written before about sugar for little ones, across multiple blogs where I talk about why, ideally, our children shouldn’t have much in the way of sugar, especially at a young age. Babies are born with a preference for sweet foods, but where in nature sweet foods often come alongside plenty of fibre and water and nutrients (think fruits!), typically the manufactured sweet foods we have access to today (and that kids often enjoy), are often very high in sugar and very low in any beneficial nutrients.
Additionally, we know that from a young age babies and toddlers are developing preferences for foods and tastes and flavours. Their patterns of eating are established early on, and so it’s beneficial to try and get them used to a wide variety of flavours and foods so that they grow up accepting a balanced and varied diet and not JUST wanting sweeter options.
Should I offer my child dessert?
In short, my answer to this would be no – it’s not something I offer in my household regularly, because I don’t think it’s necessary on a daily basis. BUT, of course the more complex answer is, again, it depends.
ALL children are different, and dessert CAN actually be helpful for some children, for example some children have particularly small appetites and offering a dessert can help them to get enough energy throughout the day. The same is true of fussier kids. Offering two courses to a child who is refusing many foods, can give extra opportunities to get calories and nutrients into that child’s diet.
Additionally, the type of dessert on offer also matters. For example, if it’s always sweeter foods and foods high in sugar, salt or saturated fat that are not particularly nutrient rich options, this might be less ideal. Alternatively, if you’re offering desserts that help to top up nutrients, for example protein and calcium in yogurt or cheese, fibre and vitamins in fruits or B vitamins, fibre and carbohydrates in the topping of a crumble, then it’s a bit of a different answer too.
Desserts don’t always HAVE to be sweet foods either – which can help reduce the “hierarchy” of what’s on offer and make little ones enjoy a variety of food and not just desire the sweet stuff. If you do offer dessert you could try switching it up and offering something savoury – e.g. some cheese and crackers, savoury muffins or flatbreads and veggie sticks with a savoury spread.
What’s the problem with offering dessert then?
Offering sweet foods after dinner can inadvertently teach children to view food in a hierarchical manner, where the ‘best’ items, typically sweet foods, are reserved for last. I strongly advocate for minimizing this conventional food hierarchy, where desserts are seen as the pinnacle of enjoyment and vegetables are relegated to the bottom tier (see bullets below).
Over time, inevitably, children may come to view sweeter foods as the most favoured options, especially due to the ways they are used to signal enjoyment during parties, Christmas, and other celebrations, including at school. However, I firmly believe that we can go some way to counteract this ‘food hierarchy’ at home during their formative years. We can do this by:
- Fostering a balanced appreciation for all foods by offering and enjoying a variety
- By not solely catering to their innate sweet preferences by offering sweet foods every day
- By avoiding the emphasis on sweet foods being the foods we celebrate
- By avoiding offering sweet foods as rewards or “treats”
- By demonstrating enjoyment in consuming all types of food – even in a party environment
- Also by not overly restricting sweet foods when they are available
And
- By not offering sweet foods as a “dessert” on a regular basis and instead offering sweet and savoury foods all together in one sitting.
By doing the above, we enable children to appreciate all types of food and, more importantly, to listen to their own appetites and preferences as they grow and develop their own eating patterns.
Should I offer pudding if my child’s refused their main course?
Another problem with desserts is often kids will pick at their main and hold out for the “pudding” that they know is coming and often includes their preferred foods. This puts parents in a dilemma: should they offer the dessert even if the main course is left uneaten, or should they withhold it, thereby making the pudding even more coveted?
I’ve seen this be the case time and time again…the short answer is NO, you shouldn’t restrict pudding if the main isn’t eaten because:
- Withholding pudding is likely to put sweeter foods on even more of a pedestal
- It’s also likely to make the main course even less desirable.
- This counts as “pressure” to eat up, which impacts children’s willingness to eat main meals
- This counts as a “food reward”, which isn’t recommended as (again) it leads to more food hierarchy
- This restricts your child’s intake of calories and nutrients, which they might be needing IF they haven’t eaten their main, or if they are very selective eaters.
So, if you are offering pudding in your household, it’s best not to withhold it if the main isn’t eaten…but there are some things you can do to make it work better for your family (see below).
So, what’s my take on offering puddings?
- Firstly, if you do offer puddings, try to vary up what they are so that it isn’t always a sweet option.
- If you do offer puddings try to focus on nutrient-rich puddings such as milk-based puddings, fruit-based puddings, smoothies, crumbles, savoury muffins, yogurt and oats, cheese and crackers and other ideas that are lower in sugars and salts.
- If you do offer puddings, don’t restrict your little one having it IF they’ve refused their main. This is only likely to make the pudding more desirable and have the “forbidden fruit” effect. If their pudding is nutrient rich, at least they are getting some calories in
BUT
- …ideally (and I know this doesn’t work for everyone), try to offer typical pudding foods such as sweet fruits, yogurts and even cakes, sweeties and chocolates ALONGSIDE their main meal instead.
This approach encourages children to view all foods more equally and to eat according to their appetite, rather than adhering to the notion that savoury foods must precede sweet ones.
Parents often wonder whether their little one will simply eat the fruit/sweeter options and nothing else, or simply keep asking for more sweet options each time. While this can happen initially, parents are frequently surprised to find that once their children have had the fruit, they often go on to try other parts of the meal or alternate between the fruit and savoury foods as they please.
This is particularly true for younger children, although older ones may take a bit longer to adjust to this approach. Generally, children are quite adept at regulating their own appetites. In my professional and personal experience, offering sweet foods alongside the main meal often encourages children to eat more of the meal overall.
How do I approach puddings at home?
We don’t have regular desserts at home, but we do enjoy them when dining out or with friends and family. In these situations, we don’t make a fuss about it. At home, 90% of the time, we have a single course (sometimes with a starter) and include both sweet and savoury foods together.
When my children bring home sweets, cakes, or biscuits from school, playdates, or birthday parties, I often serve these alongside the main meal rather than as a ‘special treat.’ I’ve observed repeatedly that when I don’t make a big deal out of these foods and simply incorporate them into our main meal, they become much less appealing. My children eat as much or as little of these foods as they want and then continue to enjoy the rest of their meal.
I have a blog all about food language around mealtimes which might help with this too.
My child has a dessert at nursery, will they expect it at home?
Something many parents worry about is that children who are having dessert every day with meals at nursery, or in childcare settings, will therefore start asking for them at home. I’ve written before about offering puddings in childcare, as it’s a whole topic on its own.
Children are generally quite adaptable and will become used to their routines at home and nursery, and don’t necessarily need them to be the same. Portion sizes tend to be slightly more limited at nursery and desserts can be a good opportunity for those children with smaller appetites or who are slightly more fussy to get sufficient calories.
Just because your child is having a dessert regularly at nursery, doesn’t mean they’re going to automatically expect it at home. It’s absolutely fine to continue with your regular routine, whether that includes offering a pudding or not!
How can I encourage my child to enjoy more savoury foods?
Something I’m very passionate about as a child nutritionist, is helping children to learn to enjoy a variety of different foods and flavours. I often talk about my veg-led weaning approach as a way to introduce NEW flavours to babies right from the beginning, when they are actually more likely to be more receptive to new flavours.
There are also plenty of ways to help children learn to love with food, without actually eating it – including getting them involved in food play, role-play and letting them help with food shopping and prep.
I’ve also written before on my top tips to get toddlers to eat their vegetables, as well as my tips on how to make veg taste good for kids!
Remember that when it comes to helping kids to enjoy a variety of foods, a lot of it is about removing any pressure from mealtimes and letting THEM take the lead when it comes to what they want to eat. Repeated exposure to foods is also really important as kids like foods they are familiar with – and I know this can be particularly difficult for parents to keep up when they know that certain foods are more likely to be ignored!
For more advice on fussy eating, my fussy eating crash course is a really practical, in-depth guide into WHY fussy eating happens and WHAT you can do to help.
Do you have recipes for low sugar desserts?
Yes! Finding ways to recreate some of the kids favourite sweet recipes with LESS sugar is one of my favourite things to do. Check out some of my favourite lower sugar sweet recipes for kids here.
I really hope you’ve found this blog helpful. For more advice around navigating fussy eating, and helping kids to build a healthy relationship with food, my book How To Feed Your Toddler is packed with practical advice.
How To Feed Your Toddler
How to Feed Your Toddler – Everything you need to know to raise happy, independent little eaters